Whenever family or friends ask how I'm doing I typically respond with, "I'm okay". I AM okay and I'm happy that's where I'm at emotionally, physically, mentally. My body is healing physically, but I'm not fully healed. When I was leaking amniotic fluid I was living in diapers. When my milk came in, I was wearing sports bras packed with cabbage. Considering I am diaper and cabbage free at the moment, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction. As a side note, I'm pretty sure that diapers and cabbage bras were my most unsexy outfit ensemble of all time. Oh and cabbage is forever ruined for me. Healing physically is much easier than recovering from the emotional wounds of a loss. However, I feel okay. I am so happy to be in the place of "okay" rather than depressed or devastated. I now have moments of highs and lows, but I am not paralyzed in a state of extreme sadness which I was stuck in for a while. I'm getting used to a new state of normal, and I'm okay with that.
"Be Okay" - Ingrid Michaelson
I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay
I just want to be okay today
I just want to be okay, be okay, be okay
I just want to be okay today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
I just want to feel today, feel today, feel today
I just want to feel something today
Open me up and you will see
I'm a gallery of broken hearts
I'm beyond repair, let me be
And give me back my broken parts
I just want to know today, know today, know today
I just want to know something today
I just want to know today, know today, know today
Know that maybe I will be okay